Who Am I

 

Ive looked everywhere for an answer to the burning question within me

a question of identity

 

As a kid I would ask my parents who am i

but they would only answer" you're our son and well love you till the day we die

Now i was one to never really chill with the lads

cuz i wasnt one to wrestle just to see the size of balls I had

 

Nah see i was one to always surround myself with beauty

so my first friends in Canada with all cuties

Rachael,  Kelsey, Emily and Gwenny were there names

and they always tried to make sure i would never change that i would stay the same

    see they never really saw a real black boy before

so i became the token black kid as soon as i entered the school doors

and at the start everything was all good, no judgement,  just having fun

and there i  was a happy  African boy beating on his African drums

 

Discrimination was never a word in my vocabulary

until i was taught white people were angels and blacks well...scary

so  in a  town of angels there was I a black guy

with a burning question always in my mind

who am i

​​

As i said before i never really chilled with the other boys, well only a few

only the ones that thought i was cool too

but then the others one day started calling me different n shit

at first i didnt listen cuz i really didnt give a shit

until these questions kept popping in my head

and there i was asking who am i as a laid in my bed

 

k cool i am different why should i care

i mean all these  white girls they be loving my hair

but damn all these white boys they still be teasing and calling me soft

but i just kept on smiling and brushing them off

 

eventually i snapped and let my ego get the best of me

started  listening to a inner voice that said be more like the black guys you see on tv

so the next day i dressed in all baggy clothes to tryna seek all approval

but only ended up coming home a feelin like fool

 

see some kid told me to give our teacher the finger and idid when she wasnt looking

but a teacher walking by saw and shouted my name  i told her i was only joking

3 day suspension at the age of 10

mom, dad, im sorry i promise it wont happen again

​​

flip forward a couple years and there i am still seeking my peers approval

still tryna stick out but still coming out feeling like a  fool

cuz from my ego i still havnt pulled the plug

so  there i was at age 12 with the "cool ones" doing some drugs

now 2 years go  by and im stiil the same guy

depression has kicked in but im wearing a smile just to go by

and still asking

who am i

 

highschool years they  come and go

had to  hide  double life so the rents woulnt know

about the weed ive been smoking with that highschool crush

or the liqs id scoop on a rush

see i was the token black and i couldnt miss a party

sneaking out of my bedroom window and off  to take shots with some barbies

 

    didnt take long till i saw red in my mom n pop

and soon along came those cops

quarter bag under your bedroom rug

baggy jeans hoodie and all why you tryna be a thug

 

Dave dave dave why cant you just behave

im sorry officer im just a black guy

trying to figure out who am i

 

​​

they say when your lonely theres no place like home

but you see when your an orphan boy you're bound to feel alone

do they even really care about me and how far do they have my back

cuz everyday i would wake up to a seeing a difference

they're white and im black

 

Dealt with  suicide but i healed real slow

had to change my ways quick cuz i  was coming home to locked doors

see  i was a rebellious teen doing rebellious things

lying and stealing ignoring the problem it brings

until  at sixteen  the parents just had enough

said either change your ways or pack your stuff

 

 

so i brought my grade from D's to  A's

friends started to change cuz i changed my ways

in the  final years  i really had repent

cuz hey i graduated being  my schools first black president

​​

So Who Am I

guess i will never really know

but thats ok cuz it isnt about what you did

but about how you grow

 

I did it all to try and fit in

people will judge for my actions committed

but it gave my life a perspective that is so lively  and vivid

 

we all live lives so different than the others

so all i ask my sisters and brothers

 

when searching for an answer to your question of identity

just remember i was just a black guy questioning who am i

growing up  in the White family